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To Feed A Succubus (eBook)
| To Feed A Succubus | |
|---|---|
 To Feed A Succubus eBook Cover, written by Thomas Harper and De'Vaughn Brathwaite | |
| Author(s) | Thomas Harper and De'Vaughn Brathwaite |
| Publisher |
Amazon Digital Services Smashwords |
| Publication date | October 17, 2016 |
| Media type | eBook |
| Length | 13 Pages |
| ISBN | 9781370550548 |
| ASIN | B076TGTPSC |
For other uses of the word Succubus, see Succubus (disambiguation).
To Feed A Succubus is an eBook written by Thomas Harper and De'Vaughn Brathwaite. In this work the character Desiree is a Succubus.
Overview
- Title: To Feed A Succubus
- Author: Thomas Harper and De'Vaughn Brathwaite
- Published By: Amazon Digital Services& Smashwords
- Length: 13 Pages
- Format: eBook
- ASIN: B076TGTPSC
- IBSN: 9781370550548
- Publishing Date: October 17, 2016
Plot Summary
In what was supposed to be another boring day for you, you are visited by a creature most beautiful and mysterious, and she intends to spend her night with you...
Book Review
The following review was originally published by Tera on her Blog, A Succubi's Tale on March 24, 2017
A young man daydreams about his perfect girlfriend and attracts a Succubus looking for a snack. Desiree thinks he looks delicious and what comes next will be quite satisfying for her.
This work is a hot flash for the most part, though there is a good deal of character development for the main character and as well for Desiree, the Succubus of the story. There’s background, a reason for the two characters to meet and Desiree’s delight in finding her “snack” has a lot of teasing humour that gave her character some needed depth, making her more than a sex toy which happens too often.
The erotica takes some time to develop, Desiree plays with him, teasing, seducing and as a whole being a delightfully naughty Succubus character. Her powers, her needs are explored and as that happens there’s a running commentary by her that, at many points, I couldn’t help but giggle over.
There are issues however in this work. it is a hot flash, which is a shame really as there’s something about Desiree that demands a longer story about her. Beyond that, telling more about her “snack”, his fantasies at the beginning of the story, really asks that Desiree do all of the things he’s been dreaming of. The idea of the two of them playing Dungeons and Dragons is really delightful to me. That could be amazingly hot and delicious as a story.
The author did spend time telling something of both characters, but once the erotica begins that gets pushed aside and when the story is over, there’s a hint that something more could happen, but doesn’t. The ending is very quick, to the point and after all else that was a bit disappointing.
Most of all this work needs a serious editing pass. There are issues with tense, a number of spelling mistakes as well get in the way of the heat and storytelling. The dialogue needs some work. Speaking Desiree’s dialogue out loud sounds like she’s almost talking like a recording at some points, going through the motions. More heat in her words, and his, would be a good thing.
Still, I liked Desiree in that she’s not evil, not cruel. She’s fulfilling a fantasy and she’s really very good at doing so. While the story holds things together, there needs to be more heat, more erotica than porn scene here and there. Again, there’s promise here, but it doesn’t develop as much as I think it could have. I found myself wishing the author had taken the time to tell more about them both.
Three out of five pitchforks.
A hot flash that manages a little character development and a little plot along the way. The work needs another editing pass to make it better, but there’s promise here if the author would take this from a hot flash into a larger story. Desiree is interesting, if a bit odd as a succubus. But she’s also not stereotypical, she isn’t evil, or seems to be, and I liked that most of all.