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An Incubus' Mate: Extended Edition (eBook)
| An Incubus' Mate: Extended Edition | |
|---|---|
 An Incubus' Mate: Extended Edition eBook Cover, written by Daniella Whitehorse | |
| Author(s) | Daniella Whitehorse |
| Publisher | Amazon Digital Services |
| Publication date | December 13, 2017 |
| Media type | eBook |
| Length | 99 Pages |
| ASIN | B0779M9SK6 |
For other uses of the word Incubus, see Incubus (disambiguation).
An Incubus' Mate: Extended Edition is an eBook written by Daniella Whitehorse. In this work the character Gawain Merrick is an Incubus as are several other characters and several minor characters are Succubi.
Overview
- Title: An Incubus' Mate: Extended Edition
- Author: Daniella Whitehorse
- Published By: Amazon Digital Services
- Length: 99 Pages
- Format: eBook
- ASIN: B0779M9SK6
- Publishing Date: December 13, 2017
Plot Summary
Gawain Merrick, a Welsh Incubus, was told to go to England as his Incubus was drawing too much attention. His Father knew he was close to meeting his Mate. He went to work in London, in his family business, but something happened on his first day there. He met his Mate but there was something different about her, something he could not put his finger on. Will he allow his Incubus to Mate with the woman?
Opal Victory, a woman who worked at the company for some months, had much male attention but was not interested in them. She was a seer, and she had seen her lover in her dreams but none there were him. That is until a man comes in and she knows he is meant to be hers. Will she understand who he is or will she run a mile at his appetite?
Book Review
The following review was originally published by Tera on her Blog, A Succubi's Tale on December 15, 2017
Opal has been haunted by a man she doesn’t know, but needs. Gawain’s felt a presence nearby, but being an incubus, he cannot find the one to make him whole. When they meet and the spark comes, can either find the way to making things right for themselves and so many others?
The work tells a rather complicated story in that there are a multitude of plots and stories about each character to tell. While I enjoyed that aspect, there are a lot of questions about many characters that don’t really get explored as much as they might have been. One of these being Gawain’s sister, who I feel really needed more exploration than was given to her.
The idea of the story is interesting, there’s a world to explore and tell about, but then comes a series of oddities in the writing that brought me up short. The storytelling itself doesn’t quite read well as a whole. There are a number of spelling and tense issues throughout, the dialogue at times is lifeless and it shouldn’t be.
In the heat of passion, of desire, there should be more than a blunt demand from one character to another. Similarly, there’s a coldness in all of the characters that comes out in the dialogue that took away any real heat. The erotica seems to be missing heat, being somewhat sterile at times in how things are described.
The story is told in a staccato tone, the sentence structure is short and doesn’t really allow time for the story to expand upon itself. Another editing pass, at least, would have been nice to breath some life into the dialogue most of all.
The incubi characters, mainly Gawain and his brothers, have aspects that I really liked, but the coldness that seemed to be following them around just didn’t make them attractive to me. As for Opal, her emotional aspects seemed as muted much of the time, almost like a blanket smothering her personality. There’s a piece missing in their character, and it seems to me that the storytelling didn’t allow for the heat or passion to be more than it was.
The work needs some more editing to clean up a lot of things, to bring more life to the story. There’s just something missing throughout and it’s a shame honestly. I’d have loved to know more about the past, how things came to be. It would have been nice for there to be real communication between all of the characters not just in what’s said, but more so emotionally.
Two and a half out of five pitchforks.
I feel like this work didn’t quite tell the story it wanted to, perhaps much of that coming from so many plots and characters passing in and out of the storyline. It might have worked better being split into two parts and spending more time getting into the story beyond what’s given here.